Cheerleaders Vs The Apocalypse

Mission: Squad Goals

Notes: Yes, I realize the title of the mission is cheeky given the context of the mission log. It’s the apocalypse. I’ve lost everything, don’t make me lose my sense of humor too!

Our heroine is Xandi. She’s who we’re going to follow on all of these different adventures. Well, Xandi and her chosen squad of Earth humans. This particular mission is the painstaking process she took to find her current team of warriors.

Here’s a few things you need to know about Earth humans, or rather, these particular Earth humans. Most are immature until they’re middle aged. Why? Because they can afford to be immature until then. Teenagers and twenty-somethings especially don’t have to do a lot of hard work. The things they think are hard are, what they would call, small potatoes. 

NOTE: Potatoes are a root vegetable that is versatile and apparently delicious. I’m not quite sure of the origins of the phrase “small potatoes.” A research project for later.

The average Earth teen has to deal with significant other drama, school problems, and the constant nagging question of “where is my life going?” War, famine, etc are not things most regions of the world experience. There are some spots, and we did think of recruiting from those areas, but decided against it because they’ve got enough to deal with.

The next thing to note is that a teenager trying to recruit mature adults to help save the planet would be near impossible. Teenagers aren’t seen as capable of making logical decisions. Average lifespan of humans is about seventy years of age. Seventy! Amazing, huh? Earth humans aren’t even EXPECTED to be smart until they’re thirty! Twenty is about exploring and “having fun.” I can’t imagine what this kind of a life is like! I’m so jealous.

For the time being, I think this is all that’s needed for context? It’ll explain the difficulties Xandi had in deciding who to recruit, and who wasn’t ready to join the cause.

Wait, there is one more thing. Earth humans don’t have any other abilities beyond standard physical manipulations and general intelligence. Both of which are average. They consider anything we see as normal “supernatural,” a “mutation,” or a “gift.” That last one is my personal favorite.

I’ve cut out boring things from my observation logs. Anything that is shared in the following pages has significance. Nothing has been embellished for the sake of being dramatic, though I’m sharing certain elements because they are dramatic and impact the psychological welfare of the team.

Ready?

Let’s begin.