Good morning and hello to Sunday! The day where I try to check in and write something profound about the writing process.

This week has been…interesting? We had a sick child, so that was full of a bunch of drama because of the pandemic. I think I mentioned some of that ON Thursday which was the day of the test. It came back negative, and I wasn’t concerned about it being a big deal beyond having to take all of the precautionary moves such as self isolation. Which would have been awful, I should add, and not just because I’d be forced to stay in. I have no issues with that, but the rest of my family hasn’t learned to cope with it. Then again, I don’t think they’re as introverted as I am.

The introversion is what has been making it nearly impossible for me to get anything done. Because of the current state of the world, my energy levels are at the minimum on a regular basis. Not necessarily physical exhaustion. In theory, I have plenty of that, but the wear and tear has been on my mentally, socially, and spiritually. Mentally, I am forced to exert my energy trying to keep my calm, trying to find solutions for everyone else’s problems, while also still having time left over for my own work. Socially, I have to be everyone’s conversation buddy, and no one wants to talk about anything I have an interest in, so I am very, very tired. Spiritually, it’s just very hard to connect with the One who is my calm and center. The One who grounds me and helps me through all of these hard times. My attempts feel incredibly hollow and pathetic.

It’s very hard to be an introvert when I can’t find my time to myself. Many seem to think that I would be in a happier mood if I could just get out and enjoy myself with friends and family. That I need to get away from the house and recharge by being with others. That isn’t the case. I need to get away and be alone in my own world. That is the way of my brand of introversion. The quiet space feels like a myth lately. A place like Santa’s Workshop or Neverland. And that is the frustration of the introvert as well. The misunderstanding that continues to lead us into energy depleting situations.

The point is that all of us are struggling. The extroverts are struggling because they can’t regain their energy through socializing. That’s their frustration, and I understand that. The introverts are struggling because they can’t establish boundaries that are effective. Everyone is struggling. Everyone. And that struggle felt even more real this week.

And yes, this week, I’ve also felt more hope than I have in a while. Hope because I’m able to plot and put together thoughts creatively in a way that I haven’t been able to do in a long time. It’s a refreshing creative energy that feels trapped, and that feeling trapped is the part that is the greatest cause of frustration and exhaustion for me these days.